Guy Time

For those of you who are not aware, I have three sons. I am convinced that raising boys is probably easier than raising girls. That does not mean it is easy, just easier than girls. There was a situation which arose with one of my sons that made it clear to me that I needed to be more intentional and strategic with the time I spend with them. I have added a new item to my calendar. Once each week, usually on tuesday evening, I take one of my boys out for some time alone together so we can talk. That's it. There is no big agenda. We just talk. It has been a great time of getting to know my children again. Last night, it was my middle son's turn. It was a beautiful, chilly evening. We went to Starbuck's and drank hot chocolate and talked. He sometimes does not talk much. But if you get him alone and ask questions, he will have a great conversation with you. I want my children to know that they can talk to me about anything. This is one of the ways I am setting the stage for that. If you have children, what clear steps are you taking to know them? How are you preparing them for the future? Be sure to comment.

On Public Service

I was thinking today about pubic service or community service. I am sure part of this was brought on by last night's political forum at Columbia University. The format was very similar to the earlier forum on religion at Saddleback Church with Rick Warren. I did not watch nor listen to all that much of last night's event, but I did hear part of John McCain's interview. He spoke very highly of service to the nation, especially through service in the Armed Forces. This was made even more poignant by the fact that three of the four candidates have children either already or about to be deployed to the Middle East.

Today I had lunch with she who must be obeyed at a local eatery. Sitting across from us was a lady and a young man who I suspect was her son. He was dressed in his camouflage BDU's. I do not know if he was home on leave or about to be deployed or stationed somewhere fairly locally. Any of those are reasonable. As I watched him there, I was moved in a way that totally surprised me. I was genuinely proud of this young man. I am sure I had never laid eyes on him in my life, but I was proud of him.

I have made a point not to stray into politics here. Regardless of your opinion of the current administration or which one you want to replace it, the young men and women who wear the uniform of our Armed Services are to be respected. We, as Americans, should be proud of those who perform this valuable public community service.

As the father of three sons, I thought about the day they are finishing high school and deciding what to do with their lives. I will not push them in any one particular direction, but I want them to know that the defense of your nation and freedom is a noble profession.

May God bless and protect those who bravely protect us.

Just Like Me

i used to listen to country music. a lot. in the last few years, i have listened almost exclusively to christian music of one variety or another. that being said, i still have a soft spot for george strait. that's right, king george. in my large sport utility vehicle, i have xm satellite radio. on xm, they are celebrating the release of king george's latest album, troubador, during the month of april by hosting strait country. this is a channel devoted to george strait music 24/7. it is good. it is very good.

i heard a song today that i had not heard in several years. it is called "the best day". it talks about a father and son. after some particular event, the son declares to the father that this may be the best day of his life. it is a very sentimental lyric, in a very simple way. i do not know why, but the words of the bridge and last chorus really affected me today. they go like this:

Standin' in a little room back of the church with our tuxes on,
Lookin' at him I say, I can't believe, son that you've grown.
He said,

Dad, this could be the best day of my life.
I've been dreamin' day and night of bein' like you.
Now it's me and her, Watchin' you and mom I've learned,
I'm the luckiest man alive, This is the best day of my life.

i want a lot of things for my sons. mostly, i want them to love jesus and serve him. i want them to have wives that are the perfect helpmeet for them. i want them to have wonderful families. i want them to have jobs and/or ministries that god uses in a powerful way. i want them to have a model of the men they should be. i want to be the kind of father for them, that if they are just like me, they will be all that god has for them. i want to be worthy of the words, "i've been dreamin' day and night of bein' like you." how am i doing? i wish you had not asked. i realize i can be pretty tough on myself, but i would have to say mediocre, at best. i have great sons. most of the time, i think it is in spite of their father, not because of him. sometimes i just do not know what to do.

writing to the church in corinth, paul says: "For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. I urge you, then, be imitators of me." (1 corinthians 4:15,16) then, a little later, he says: "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ." (1 corinthians 11:1) according to paul, if i imitate christ, i can safely, and with confidence, urge my sons to imitate me. they will likely try to imitate me anyway, but with christ as my example, imitating me will be a good thing.

Sunday Happenings

today at the church of which i am a member, the pastor continued his sermon series teaching simultaneously through the books of ecclesiastes and ephesians. today he covered the first half of ecclesiastes chapter 3. this is the passsage that inspired (and essentially wrote) "turn! turn! turn! (to everything there is a season)" by pete seeger. the intent of seeger, and most of those who covered the song, was for it to be an anti-war anthem. that is clearly not what solomon meant when he wrote the words. i think he is talking about the natural seasons of life. it is how life ebbs and flows. i could go on and on, but i will not do so now. perhaps another time.

tonight was one of the highlights of my week. twice per month the small group my wife and i am part of met. it is the best time when we are together. we always enjoy a meal (thanks k & j) and then spend time with whatever we are studying/reading as a group. we have a rule that goes something like, "whatever is said at lifegroup, stays at lifegroup." i think i can share some of the discussion without violating that confidence. tonight we started a study guide from homebuilders called "building character in your children". it looks to be an interesting study and discussion. our group is made up of people with a variety of backgrounds and perspectives. tonight's discussion centered around legacy and character traits. as we talked about the legacy we leave our children, it was noted that your legacy is simply what you do and who you are. you cannot intentionally "build a legacy". your legacy is your lifetime of experiences and character. a good example of this in terms that are easy to grasp was given. consider president bill clinton. he spent his last year or so in office trying to build his legacy. he wanted peace in the middle east. what is his legacy? it is all the things he is known for and there is still unrest in every area of the middle east. your legacy is the remembrance of who you were after you are gone. you live your legacy. we all want our children to exhibit good character traits, to have a godly character. but where does that come from? ultimately, godly character comes from god. as we are filled with the holy spirit, we bear the fruit of that in good character. fathers display these traits to their children. children learn by example. one day, god can use that example to draw the children to a saving knowledge of himself. my prayer is that i will be an example of godly character to my sons.

Manly Birthday Party

today, i took my middle son to a friend's birthday party. i have three sons and have been to many different kinds of children's parties. i have never been to a child's birthday party like this one. it was for boys and their dads. it was a manly birthday party. we make swords and proceeded to engage in a variety of sword-fighting scenarios. it was totally awesome. i do not know if i or my eight year old son had more fun. the swords were a simple affair. they were just a length of pvc pipe with a piece of foam noodle -- like you would use in a swimming pool -- covering the area used as a blade. this was covered with a tube sock. the sock was secured to the pipe with black electrical tape, that was then wrapped over the handle like you would wrap a hockey stick or a baseball bat. we used colored sharpie markers to decorate our swords. each participant then named his sword so as to identify it as his. my son decided to display his usual creative spirit and refused to name or decorate his until we got it home. then he named it "terminator 3". i named my "the hammer". we had father/son sword fights. we had major battles with the kids against the dads. then we had arena matches. this is when one fighter is in the center of the circle and anyone can challenge him. it is purely winner stands and he has to fight anyone who challenges him. very cool. perhaps one of the best parts of the day is that we got to take our swords home. then the whole family got involved. we even had a tournament tonight in the back yard. believe it or not, grandma and grandpa (who happen to be here for a visit) won first and second, respectively. it really was a fun time. the most valuable part of the day for me was that it was a chance for my son to do something with his dad in the context of other fathers and sons. and it was a very, very manly thing.