Fairness

I have read the book of Habakkuk many times over the years. I took my first really close look at the book about a year ago when I helped develop a discussion guide for my LIFE Group. After our group completed our study of the book, I had not given the book much thought. That is until a little over two weeks ago.

You see, the book of Habakkuk is about a man who followed God and had a strong faith in God. But he also struggled with God. There were things going on in the world around him that did not seem fair. There was great injustice in society around him. He knew God was there but God seemed to be silent.

A little over two weeks ago, my mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor. After consulting with a neurosurgeon, we came to realize that the situation was bad. The MRI showed a tumor that measured about 2.4 centimeters. The doctor told us that it appeared to be a highly aggressive, malignant tumor. After surgery, we found out that the tumor was much larger than anticipated. It was about the size of a tangerine. The pathologist confirmed our worst fears. It was a grade four (highly aggressive) glioma (malignant) tumor.

My mother is an active 59 year old woman. She just completed her bachelors degree a few years ago and had just taken a new teaching job a few weeks earlier. She is one semester away from completing her masters degree. She has had an almost perfect 4.0 GPA through all that. She has four grand-sons. She derives as much joy from “her boys” as any grandmother I have ever seen. She has a set of twin grandchildren on the way. They will no doubt be as precious to her as the others. I could point out many other things, but I am sure you get the idea.

This should not have happened to her. She has followed Jesus for a long time. She has given much of her life to service along side my dad in the church. Her trust in and reliance on God has been unwavering through circumstances both good and bad, easy and difficult. As far I can understand fairness, this is not fair. Not even a little bit.

But I need to rethink fairness. When I do, I realize that I don’t really want fairness. If God were completely fair, he would completely punish all of us. God does not always treat us fairly. He does much better than that. He treats us graciously. He has graciously kept my mother for 59 years. He graciously let her tumor be diagnosed in time to operate. He graciously gave her a skilled surgeon and others to provide medical treatment. He graciously gave her a large family that loves her and supports her completely. The Bible says that every good gift and every perfect gift comes from God and only God. There are some gifts from God that we would deem as not being good. Again, I think this is due to our not having a complete understanding of what “good” is. The Bible also says that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. That perfectly describes my mother. I cannot comprehend how this awful illness will work for her good, outside of taking her to heaven, but I trust God and his word that he will somehow work things together for her good.

It is the last few verses of the book of Habakkuk that bring me the most comfort and peace during this time. Even though the prophet still does not understand the mysteries of the way the Lord chooses to work, he still has confidence in God. He describes the devastation that he sees coming and expresses his faith. I pray God will grant me that faith as the storms of confusion and doubt come. Habakkuk 3:17-19 says: “Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines, even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights.”

Rick and Bubba's Guide to the Almost Nearly Perfect Marriage

Radio comics Rick Burgess and Bill “Bubba” Bussey have returned to the publishing world with their newest release. Rick & Bubba’s Guide to the Almost Nearly Perfect Marriage is a quick, easy to read collection of topics relevant to most couples. The forty-five chapters read like short humor pieces or columns. In this collection, the authors address such topics as: finding a mate, conflict, shopping, money and debt, respect, pregnancy, and grief and tragedy. They do this with the humor and style they have become known for. This is a pretty funny book.

That being said, the use of the word “guide” in the title should not be taken literally. While the book is funny, the advice is often not quite grounded in reality nor centered in the Word of God. It plays into the cultural stereotype that all wives blame their husbands for everything, thus belittling and devaluing the role and position of the husband as the head of the wife. While the Bible clearly teaches this position, Rick and Bubba do precious little to correct and teach their readers. There are other examples, but this is one of the most glaring.

If you want a decent laugh, I can recommend this book. If you are looking for guidance and advice for your marriage relationship, I think you should look elsewhere.

More information about Rick & Bubba’s Guide to the Almost Nearly Perfect Marriage can be found at Thomas Nelson’s product page. I am a member of Thomas Nelson’s Book Review Blogger program.

Love: A Godly Husband's Responsibility

Last week, I wrote about the Christian husband's responsibility to be a leader. I really believe that all of the husband's responsibilities can be distilled down to just two: lead and love.

This love is different than the infatuation that we feel early in a relationship. This love is not just felt, it is intentional. It is a choice that we make. Here are some related passages of scripture followed by ten rules for Christian husbands.

Ephesians 5:21-33 (New Living Translation)

²¹ And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

²² For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³ For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. ²⁴ As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

²⁵ For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her ²⁶ to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. ²⁷ He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. ²⁸ In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. ²⁹ No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. ³⁰ And we are members of his body.

³¹ As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” ³² This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. ³³ So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

1 Corinthians 11:3 (New Living Translation)

But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

1 Peter 3:1-2, 7 (New Living Translation)

¹ In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over ² by observing your pure and reverent lives.

⁷ In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

Ten Rules for Christian Husbands

1. The love you feel for your wife should be "agape" love: a divinely inspired love that reflects God's unconditional love for her.

2. Caring for your wife requires daily attention.

3. You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.

4. You should encourage your wife's spiritual growth as she seeks to follow Christ, but you can't dead her there if you're unwilling to go yourself.

5. You must strive to love your wife as God loves you. That means that you must love her regardless of her response.

6. It's important that you provide for your wife and family, but giving material possessions is not enough; you must also give yourself to her.

7. You are to love your wife as you love yourself.

8. Take care of her needs, like you take care of your own. Ensure that your wife's needs for rest and recreation, spiritual growth, and clothing are met.

9. As a Christian husband, your purpose is to prepare her in order to present her to her eternal Groom, the Lord Jesus Christ.

10. Remember that love is a permanent commitment, not a transitory feeling.

Is there one or two of these that you struggle with? Which ones? Make an intentional effort to work on those this week.